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Grief is not a linear process, and is something everyone will experience at some point. Unfortunately, today’s society has not prepared us well for our own journeys of grief, thereby leaving us ill equipped to hold space for the grief of others. If the people in your life have said things that hurt your feelings or made you feel like your grief was unimportant or lasting too long, I encourage you to find other kinds of support, whether from me, a mental health professional, or a support group. Your grief is real and you deserve support, whether your grief was caused by a death or another type of loss.
Childlessness and Pregnancy Loss
Childlessness is very difficult, whether it is due to infertility or circumstance. Childlessness is different from being childfree, which is a conscious decision not to have children, and can bring with it its own grief. Society is very centered on the experience of traditional families with children, which can make navigating day to day situations challenging and painful for people who are not parents. Many people experience these challenges anew when people their age become grandparents.
Pregnancy loss is something that many people experience but that up until recently few people spoke about. It can be physically and emotionally hard on those going through it, and the societal, political, and religious views of others can complicate the grief over someone the world didn’t get to meet, but who was nonetheless real.
A Loss not Recognized by Society
Disenfranchised grief occurs when we experience a loss that is not generally recognized and validated by society. It can even cause the person experiencing it to question their feelings.
Some examples of this include: the loss of a secret relationship, the loss or death of an abusive partner, the imprisonment of a loved one, the death of an ex, the death of an unrequited love, pregnancy loss, or childlessness.
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